The Bakura Who Saved Christmas
by Brood Mayran
Summary: During holiday shopping, Ryou's Yami, Bakura, gets into mischief and has to take the place of a Mall Santa! (SURPRISE! 1 Year Anniversary NEW CONTENT FOR FANS! Chapter Four edited, new chapter UP now! RR for old time's sake everyone!)
1. All I Can Say Is, HAHAHAHA!

Brood: Hey everyone! This idea came to me in a random moment of insanity that miss Wingleader Sora Jade brought upon in one of her reviews to another story of mine...the one where Joey gets that job......Nevermind about that now....but you wanna see Yami Bakura be a mall Santa!  
  
Zutsokaki: You have undeniably become very evil.  
  
Brood: Hey! I happen to LIKE this story idea! So now....on with the Santa!  
  
  
  
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Ryou walked through the mall with his checklist. Christmas was coming closer and he was on his yearly mission to buy presents for his friends.  
  
He had already gotten Anzu's, which was easy. Her present was a large stuffed hamster plush toy from, and he knew that she thrived on cute. He would wrap it in pink paper with a purple bow...  
  
Yugi's was a bit more involved. He had found an interesting Dark Magician model toy, but had immediatly passed on it when he found a neat bag with the DM on it, in a neat battle pose. He knew Yugi would love it.  
  
He had found, out of sheer luck, a nearly new leather riding jacket in Goodwill, and had gotten it for Honda. The cashier lady had told him that the jacket had been too small for the man who had bought it, so his wife made him give it to the Goodwill. Ryou smiled at his good luck, but he still needed something for Joey and his sister.  
  
\\Ryou.....I'm bored here.\\  
  
Great. In his shopping, he had forgotten about his dark side.  
  
\You stay in there while I'm shopping. You'll just cause trouble.\  
  
\\So?\\  
  
\That would be my point.\  
  
\\I'm coming out whether you like it or not. I suppose it's up to you if you want other pitiful mortals to see me emerge.....\\  
  
He really hated it when his darkness didn't give him much of an alternative.  
  
\......fine. Just let me get somewhere will you won't be seen.\  
  
\\......alright.\\  
  
Ryou heaved a heavy sigh and walked to the mall bathrooms. He did a quick look around and found that the restroom was empty. That was working in his favor, anyway....  
  
\All clear.\ Ryou sent the message, and almost immediatly saw his darkness out beside him.  
  
"I just LOVE it when I get my way...." Bakura let out a small chuckle and left the bathroom. Ryou chased after him and walked by his side.  
  
"What do you want? I certainly don't want YOU hanging around me right now...."  
  
"Er....I just wanted to tell you that we are going to be leaving after I find a couple of more presents for Joey and his little sister. So....keep our link open, ok?  
  
"Fine. I will do at least that. Just don't bother me with trivial things." Bakura strode away, leaving Ryou behind, and watched Bakura soon disappear in the holiday rush of shoppers. He let out another sigh and walked off.  
  
In the meantime, Bakura was letting himself wander around and look at the things that the mortals could make. He walked into a shop with lots of light up things, and stood mezmerized at a lava lamp for a moment. Then he turned and left the store.  
  
As he took the first step out, he saw HIM.  
  
It was an older fat man with white hair and a beard, and was wearing a rediculous outfit of red velvet and white fuzzy trim. He even had a matching stocking cap to go with it. Bakura sneered as he saw childeren go up to him with smiling faces. This man was clearly annoying and had to be harmed.  
  
So, Bakura sat and waited, never taking his eyes off of the annoying fat old man. What made him even more annoying was that he would hear a chuckle come from him now and then in the form of "Ho ho ho!" That only made Bakura's resolve stronger.  
  
After half an hour, and thankfully, no sign of his host, the camera person put up a sign and children moaned and frustrated parents who had waited in line turned around, yanking their upset children with them.  
  
The fat man stood up, the bells on his hat jingling. He then got off of his seat and began walking towards one of the storm shelter hallways to get to the employee break room. Bakura stood up and began stalking him. There really was no reason to do this except....  
  
1.) The man's tingly bells were annoying.  
  
2.) All of that fuzzy white trim was annoying.  
  
3.) His red suit was annoying.  
  
4.) His hat he wore was annoying.  
  
5.) His other half wasn't around, what other time would he get to enjoy something like this?  
  
Bakura allowed a sadistic smile to creep to his lips as he drew nearer to the man in the annoying red.  
  
If you couldn't tell already, Bakura found the jolly fat man annoying.  
  
But as Bakura drew near enough to whisper frightning things in his ear and disappear, somebody with at least six large shopping bags rammed into Bakura and, swearing loudly in Egyptian the whole time, he slammed into Santa, full on the back. They were by the doorway to the storm hallway, and Santa was propelled into the frame headfirst.  
  
His head bounced off of it, and he fell over, rolling into the hall sideways, only leaving one of his feet in sight.  
  
Bakura stood up, but the person had already excused him or herself and run off out of sight. He vowed that if he ever saw that person again, he would give them an eternity in the Shadow Realm being eaten slowly by his Maneater Bug.  
  
That's when he caught sight of the fat man's boot. He walked up to the doorframe and peeked his head around the corner, seeing the man on the ground unconcious. He shrugged and began to turn.  
  
"OH MY LORD! WHAT HAPPENED HERE!!!!" A door down the hallway, and a professional looking geek stumbled into the hallway, rushing over and kneeling by Santa.  
  
"Well, it looks like your fat man has run into a small accident....." Bakura offered that much to the scrawny young man, but the geek looked up at him.  
  
"His break is over in about half an hour! Who could we possibly get to take his place!!!?? What about the CHILDREN!?!?!?!"  
  
"Listen, I personally don't ca...." He was interruped by a second voice.  
  
"What happened to our Santa?" It was an older man in a buisiness suit, who came out of the same doorway as the geek did.  
  
Santa? Oh, they must have meant the man in the red with the bump to match. Bakura shrugged lightly. "He must have slipped and hit his head on the doorframe...." Inwardly, he sneered. How trusting these mortals were....  
  
"But who else could we get? He's out cold! There is no way he'll be good to go out in that long! Even if we DO get him awake...." The man looked at Bakura slowly. "Those children will be really disappointed...."  
  
Then, a look dawned on the man's face as the geek boy stayed by the Santa man. The look frightened Bakura as the man was examining HIM.  
  
"Hey....you have white hair....and we have a beard....and an extra outfit.....hey buddy, do you want to help us out and be our Santa Claus? Since the other one is out...."  
  
Bakura's face took on a look of horror and anger as he shot back. "Look man, there is NO way you will ever get me in one of those rediculous get-ups!" One of his fists clenched, but the man and now even the geek were looking at him.  
  
"Please? For the the children?"  
  
  
  
Ryou jolted and nearly dropped the teddy bear he was holding. Bakura was feeling VERY murderous.....he had to get to him before he did anything bad. Ryou put the bear back on the rack and dashed out of the store.  
  
Soon, with enough seeking, he found Bakura standing beside a storm shelter door having an arguement with someone inside he couldn't see. He then saw a boot slide slowly out of sight, and Ryou ran over, standing next to Bakura.  
  
"What are you doing here, Ryou!?" Bakura looked down at him, and Ryou just stared straight back at him. He then took in his surroundings. There were two guys and an unconscious Santa Claus about ten feet in front of him. He looked at Santa, then shot a pointed glance at Bakura.  
  
Bakura looked back at him.  
  
\\For once, it really wasn't me.\\  
  
\Sure....I'll bet if it wasn't you, you still had a hand in it SOMEWHERE....\  
  
\\..............\\  
  
Then the man spoke up. "Hey kid! Tell your big brother here that he'd make a good replacement Santa Claus! We need him since our big guy took a hit from the doorframe!"  
  
Ryou's eyes grew to the size of saucers and supressed a giggle. He couldn't stop himself.  
  
"Sure, he'd make a good Santa Claus....really...." He was rewarded by a murderous glance from Bakura.  
  
\\Traitor. You WILL pay for that later. And I am NOT your big brother.\\  
  
"Tell me o-nee-san, why don't you want to be Santa?" Ryou just looked back at him innocently.  
  
Bakura continued to look at Ryou. "Because the last thing I want is to walk around looking like THAT!" He motioned to the Santa down on the ground.  
  
The man spoke again. "Now the suit isn't that big of a deal! All we have to do is pad you around the middle and put a beard on you! No big problem there, right? And the kids come, and they will sit on your lap and they will tell you what they want for Christmas....."  
  
"Woah woah! I have to let them SIT on me!!!???" Bakura's eyes widened like his lighter half's did. There was NO way he would let those small mortals on his lap! Bakura began raising his hand to Mind Crush the both of them, but Ryou grabbed it and put it back down.  
  
\NO!\  
  
\\Just the geek kid then...please!? I NEED THIS!!!!\\  
  
\No!\  
  
"Hey, it's not big deal....Bakura? Is that what your little brother said? Well, in any case, the kids will just tell you what they want and your elf gives them a candy cane and they leave, and you then take the next kid. All you have to do is nod and ask them if they've been a good little boy or girl this year and things like that."  
  
"WHY!? What elf!"  
  
"Just the person standing next to you wearing the elf outfit. Nothing big."  
  
The geek kid then looked at his watch and then tugged on the other man's arm. The man looked at the watch as well.  
  
"Oh my goodness! There is no time! Come on, we have to suit you up quickly!" He then snagged Bakura before he could do anything, and dragged him into the break room, Ryou jogging behind them. The geek dragged Santa in after them.  
  
Over the next ten minutes, there were lots of protestive yellings and such, but soon the man stood away to behold his masterpiece.  
  
"You ARE Santa Claus!" He was meet with a dark look from Bakura, who now had a full white beard, a padded Santa outfit, and a jingly bell hat. Under the beard, you couldn't even see his mouth, so his speech was just the slightest bit muffled.  
  
"But I don't want to be...."  
  
"Now, we have just a couple of more minutes.....Hey, do you think your kid brother would like to be the elf?" He then cast a look at Ryou. "For the sake of the children? Please?"  
  
Ryou stifled another giggle. Even though being a mall Santa was not quite safe for anyone when the Santa was Bakura, and it horrified the good conscious he had, he still knew Bakura wouldn't do much if Ryou could make sure of it. And he had a few ideas.....  
  
"Sure. And YES. Definitly for the sake of the children......."  
  
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Brood: Oh my....this isn't looking good for ANYONE right now....  
  
Zutsokaki: I think the children will need more than Ryou to protect them....  
  
Brood: Oh yeah, I'm hosting a fanfiction contest! Check my bio for details! It's a neat contest! You should check it out!  
  
Zutsokaki: Me and Fuu Fuu got you a birthday present.  
  
Fuu Fuu Choco Taco: *a chibi, for those who don't know* Yay! Late birthday present for Broody Mama!  
  
Brood: You did?! For me!? *takes the Gift Box from Zutsokaki, opening it* GASP! It's a cute little chibi Joey plushie! In his Battle City outfit!!!  
  
Fuu Fuu: Go deeper!  
  
Brood: *digs* !!!! GASP AGAIN! It's a doggy outfit to put him in!! YAY!!!!  
  
Gift Box: **This gift box will self destruct in five...four....three....two...*  
  
Zutsokaki: *grins and snags Fuu Fuu and the plush toy, diving behind a chair*  
  
Gift Box: **....one...**  
  
BOOM!!!!!!  
  
Brood: *now charred in the face, and Fuu Fuu with Zutsokaki are giggling madly with a safe plushie in their hands.* I should have known that they wouldn't do something nice for me without some comeback....oh well....Ja ne! Keep a look out for the next chapter! 


	2. Bakura Gets the Party Started

Brood: *has cleaned up and is now playing with her Joey plushie, putting it inside of the doggy suit* Aww..!! Kawaii!!!!  
  
Zutsokaki: Hey....Brood....the readers are here....  
  
Brood: HUSH DOGGY!!! *snickers* Oh! Hehehe...sorry everyone....So, you want to see more Bakura in the Santa suit, ne? Well here it is!!!  
  
Fuu Fuu Choco Taco: *stuffs a chocolate popcicle in her mouth* Bwood don't own Yu-gi-oh!  
  
Zutsokaki: *grunts* And if she DID, she'd actually be able to pay me for this....  
  
  
  
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After Ryou was suited up in an insanely adorable red and green elf outfit complete with pointy shoes with bells at the ends, the three dragged Bakura out into the mall area.  
  
"PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS!!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?!?!?!"  
  
The older man looked up at Bakura. "I am the manager of this mall, and right now we have no choice, Santa goes on in two minutes and there is no time to find someone else!"  
  
Bakura growled. "AND, you are going to have to lose the growling..." the manager added. His geek assistant handed a massive bucket of candy canes to Ryou, and Bakura was shoved up into the Santa chair. The photographer walked up and began to set up her camera.  
  
"Wait a second....I have to let these people take pictures of me!?" Bakura almost jumped up out of his chair, but Ryou put his hands on Bakura's shoulders, forcing him back down.  
  
\Listen Bakura. If you don't do this for them....something nice for someone else for once....I WILL tell Yugi that you were in this suit and situation in the first place.\ Even his mental voice sounded like he meant it.  
  
Bakura's eyes widened. Then they narrowed at him again.  
  
\\You wouldn't DARE tell Pharoah's pet about this.....\\  
  
\I would. Now sit and be a good Santa. These people NEED this, Bakura.... why don't you do something nice for once....?\  
  
\\Because I AM NOT NICE!!! I'm a TOMB ROBBER! I robbed TOMBS!\\  
  
His and Ryou's conversation was interuptted by the manager. "You will get paid for this of course, and you'll only have to do it until our Santa is up to coming back out....and yes, this does involve some of the people paying us to have their child's picture taken with you...."  
  
Bakura's face flushed in anger. He then shut his eyes for a second, and by using his shadow powers, made all of the cameras anywhere close to him blow a major part on the inside. Ryou felt the jolt of power, and the small popping motion in his pocket where his disposable camera just happened to be.  
  
He sighed thinking, Well....there went MY plan B.....  
  
Bakura smiled triumphantly and sat back in his big Santa chair. The camera person went to check her equipment again and noticed that the camera was broken. After a few moments of general confusion, and smirking by Bakura that could not be seen due to his full beard, the manager sighed and said that there would be no pictures.  
  
By this time, a small line of children with their parents had been forming and waiting for the line for Santa Claus to open up. The manager looked out to all of them and smiled, and Ryou took his place beside Bakura with the candy canes. Bakura scowled under his beard at them all, and a few children waved happily. Ryou the Happy Elf waved merrily at the kids, and Bakura jerked his hand at them.  
  
That was when the geek kid opened up the line, and ushered the first child up, a small girl with red hair and green eyes. Bakura stiffened.  
  
\\Ryou? I just realized I don't know what to do with the brats now that they are here.....\\  
  
\I'll help them up into your lap.....YES YOUR LAP! Don't complain....and then you ask them NICELY if they have been a good girl or boy this year....and then you let them ask you what they want for Christmas, and respond to them. I'll give them a candy cane and let them down.  
  
The girl stopped in front of Santa Bakura and smiled at him. Ryou walked up and said he'd help her up. She nodded at him.  
  
\And be NICE! Try and at least LOOK happy.....\  
  
This wasn't going to be easy for the usually very evil Bakura.  
  
Ryou boosted her up onto Bakura, and he stiffened momentarily until relaxing.  
  
She looked up at him with her big green eyes. They scared Bakura.  
  
"Hi Santa!!! How's Rudolph!?" She grinned at him.  
  
\\Ryou? WHO THE HELL IS RUDOLPH!!\\  
  
Ryou suppressed a mental snicker. \Rudolph is one of Santa's magic reindeer. Just say that he's fine and say that he says "hi."\  
  
"Err...hello little girl..." Bakura began a little slowly. "Rudolph is just fine....er...he says "hi."  
  
"Oohh!! Mommy mommy! Didja hear that! Rudolph says HI!!!!" She beamed at her mother, who simply smiled back.  
  
"Uhh....little girl, have you been good this year?" This was not easy for Bakura.....he wanted to torment the little things! Not cause them joy!  
  
"Oh yes Santa! I have! I even made my mommy cookies out of sugar and flour and dirt! Mommy thought they were yummy! And and and I even made my doggie a special leash made out of my daddy's neck ties! It worked great! See! I'm nice!"  
  
\\Feeding her mother dirt and ruining her dad's ties? This kid is okay by me.....\\  
  
\Bakura!! Just ask what she wants!\  
  
"Oh, that's REALLY nice of you! Now....whaddya want for Christmas?"  
  
"That's REALLY easy Santa! I wanna dollie that had light up eyes! Those are really neat! And I want my doggy to have a new leash, since the one I made him broke, and the parts that weren't broke daddy took back.....and I want a Easy Bake Oven so I can cook mommy stuff all of the time!! Oh! And a new dollie house for the dollie!"  
  
"Is that all?"  
  
\\Hmm.....will these small mortals get greedy? And what do I tell them now?\\  
  
\Just tell them that you'll see what you can do....\  
  
"Yup Santa!"  
  
"Well then little girl, I'll see what I can do for you......."  
  
"YAY!!!! Mommy mommy! He said he'd try and get me the stuff!!! I understand Santa, that you're really busy around this time of year! So try your hardest, okay!" She then wiggled in his lap happily, and Ryou came over with a candy cane for her. She took it and then let him pick her up and set her back down again. She ran to her mother and turned, waving to Bakura. He waved slightly and let out a sigh.  
  
\\Will it be like this for long?\\  
  
\All kids are different, Bakura. Don't expect them all to be this easy.....\  
  
\\I can tell you now Ryou, that I WILL get some revenge for this afterwards......\\  
  
Ryou gulped lightly. The next child was then ushered up, another little girl. She stopped in front of Santa Bakura and looked up at him.  
  
"You don't look very old, Santa."  
  
"I have the beard, don't I?"  
  
Ryou snickered and reached down to hoist her up, but she moved away.  
  
"I can get up here myself, thank you Mister Elf."  
  
She then scrambled semi-painfully up onto Bakura, and he then snagged her under her arms and set her in a more comfortable position before she could protest.  
  
"Let's cut to the chase Santa. I've been good. You have what I want. So let's just start naming goodies. No new dresses. I can't stand those. I want a toy truck so I can run over those dolls I got for my birthday. I wouldn't mind a voo doo doll so I can use it on my older brother...."  
  
\\You know Ryou, I can get her the voo doo doll right now.....\\  
  
\NO! Just hear her out....\  
  
\\I sort of like this mortal kid also.....knows how to get what she wants....\\  
  
\Just listen.\  
  
"....and I want one of the Resident Evil games. I don't care which one. I may be seven, but I can play a good zombie shooting game any day."  
  
\\Okay, I've decided to steal this child and raise her as a disciple of evil.\\  
  
\I hope you are joking Bakura.....\  
  
\\Maybe.....\\  
  
"Get all that, Claus?"  
  
"Sure did, little girl...."  
  
"Woah there, Santa. My name is Merideth. Not "little girl."  
  
"Alright then Merideth, I did get all of that, and I'll see what I can do for you......"  
  
"Hey! You'd better try nice and HARD!" Then she jumped off of his lap and strode off to her parents with Ryou chasing her down with the candy cane. She snagged it from him and went to her parents, who watched all of this with a little bit of oddness at their daughter's demands.  
  
\\This acutally may cause me some sort of enjoyment.....\\  
  
\Don't count on it all to be this easy, Bakura.\ He sighed and looked farther off into the line. He could see some toddlers in there, but couldn't really get a feel for some of the kids in line. One of them though, was crying. This was going to be fun....  
  
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Brood: Well, I'd say Bakura's had an easy time so far.....  
  
Zutsokaki: Yeah.....and knowing you, Brood, it's not going to stay that way for long.....  
  
Brood: .......*blinks innocently*  
  
Zutsokaki: Yeah, like I believe that crap.....  
  
Brood: Review for me please! And remember to sign up for my Fanfiction Contest! I really only have two confirmed entries so far! That doesn't make for much of a contest, ne? Check my user bio for details! 


	3. Oh Come, All Ye Children, Sit on the Psy...

Brood: WOW! Thanks for this great response, guys! I appreciate it a whole lot!!  
  
Zutsokaki: ............lots of response.....why even bother....  
  
Brood: You are fighting a loosing battle Zutso-kun......they won't stop reading this until it's done....  
  
Zutsokaki: WE HAVE MEASELS!! UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!  
  
Brood: *rolls her eyes* Anyway, here is chapter three!  
  
  
  
  
  
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Bakura looked out to the line of children and waited patiently for the next child to sit in his large padded red lap.  
  
\\So Ryou, do you think the next child will maybe be satanic as well? I like those kinds of children....those are the only mortals with promise....\\  
  
Ryou SO hated to disappoint him....  
  
The next child came up, a small toddler boy escorted by his mother. She helped him up onto Bakura herself and stood a distance away.  
  
\\Gah! Ryou! What do I do about the small ones with no talking ability!?\\  
  
\Well, just look at them nicely and ask them if they want anything for Christmas....\  
  
\\Sounds simple enough....this is a fairly straightforward holiday you mortals have....honor the fat man who bequeaths gifts....\\  
  
\It's not really that, Bakura.....\  
  
"Hey there small boy....what do you want to get for Christmas?" Bakura hoped that it was at least an EVIL toddler on his lap....  
  
The small boy looked up at the Santa Bakura......and he promptly burped up his lunch onto him.  
  
"GAHH!!!!!" Bakura almost jumped up, and the boy's mother ran up and got her son, apologizing profusely.  
  
"I'm really sorry, he's usually so well behaved in publc!!"  
  
"Well lady, I'd say that your child......"  
  
Ryou butted in. "It's alright madam....we understand completely."  
  
\\We, annoying one?\\ Bakura REALLY wanted to harm something right now....the urge was nearly overwhelming...  
  
\YES Bakura....we.\  
  
The smiled and thanked him, and led her son away to be cleaned up.  
  
\\BUT YOU JUST DIDN'T GET THROWN UP ON!!!!!\\  
  
Ryou sighed and the manager ran up with a handkerchief. The line of parents and children hung back a bit, all parents wondering if the Santa they'd been waiting all day on had to be put on hold just because the third kid barfed on him....  
  
Bakura snatched the hanky from him and wiped the spit off of him as best as he could, and then the geek kid scuttled up and placed a fuzzy thick blanket over Bakura's lap. Bakura's eyes clearly showed the boy that he was scowling, so he scuttled away again.  
  
The next child was gently prodded into going up to the evil Santa. This time, it was a young boy who looked just a bit too old to be barfing on Santa Claus...  
  
Bakura was in a bad mood now. He wanted to torment something.  
  
Ryou looked at his darker half suspiciously and helped the boy up onto Bakura's lap.  
  
The little boy looked up at Santa Bakura. "Hewo Santy Cwas....have I been a good widdle boy dis year?"  
  
Bakura sneered behind his beard. "Well, what do you think, kid?"  
  
He then got a lovely flash of sadism, and imprinted in the boy's little head an image of many little Barney's dancing in his head.  
  
They boy's eyes widened and his eyes glittered with delight, and remained silent.  
  
Then Bakura looked for the boy's fears....and he had the urge to burst out laughing.... But Bakura the concentrated on the Barneys....and then in the boy's mind, he had them take off their head masks and reveal the boy's biggest fear. Icky Girls.  
  
The little boy's eyes suddenly welled with tears and he started sniffling loudly. Then his sniffles turned to a low wailing. His father came up the steps and put his hand on his son's back while Bakura watched on.  
  
"Err...well Santa, it looks like Jeffy is scared of you....I never suspected this...."  
  
"Don't bother yourself worrying about it. Little children cry at me alot, actually....."  
  
\\Or I'd like them too....\\  
  
\BAKURA!!!!! Why did you do that!?\  
  
\\Quiet you.\\  
  
Ryou's angered face suddenly turned to sympathetic as he bent down to give the boy a candy cane as his father took him off of Bakura's lap. The boy looked up at Ryou and suddenly began bawling.  
  
"IT'S A GIRLWY! A GIRLWY!! DADDY PWEAZE I WANNA GO HOME!!!!"  
  
Ryou sweatdropped. Bakura had to supress an extremely loud laugh, so he had to settle for a mental one.  
  
\\HAHAHAHA!! A GIRL! AHAHAHAHAAAA!!!\\  
  
\Bakura. Quiet please....\  
  
The father looked a little sheepish at his son's behavior, and took the cane from Ryou and led the crying boy away.  
  
Bakura sighed happily. Now that he had THAT out of his system....  
  
The next kid came up. This time, another little girl. She had big blonde pigtails and looked to be about eight or nine years old. She skipped happily up and stood next to Santa. She was just big enough to not need help up onto Bakura's lap.  
  
"Hi Santa! I'm getting up now!" She then hopped up onto his lap, jolting painfully under the landing of the girl.  
  
"Hey there Santa! I'm Rebecca! I'm pretty sure that I've been really really good this year! And teddy says I've been good also!"  
  
That's when Bakura noticed an absolutely sick teddy bear clutched in her arms. It made his skin crawl.  
  
"Well young lady.....what do you want this year......" \\Ya little gift grubbers...\\  
  
\Bakura....\ Ryou had a bit of a warning tone in his voice.  
  
"Oh! That's EASY Santa! I really really want another Shadow Ghoul card! Those are my favorites! Oh! And a hat for Teddy would be great! I'd also like a new bike, and a nice new deck case for my cards, pink please!" She grinned at him. "Ooh! Teddy also wants a lollypop!"  
  
"You'll get a candy cane." Bakura was REALLY creeped out by that annoyingly cute bear she insisted on carrying around...  
  
"Okay! Well, Santa, thanks for hearing me out!" She hopped down and took the cane from Ryou. Then she ran down the steps. "COME ON YUGI! LET'S GO MEET OUR GRANDPA'S NOW!!!!"  
  
Bakura stiffened immediatly. \\YUGI!?!?!?!??!?!\\  
  
His eyes shifted to the left, where Rebecca ran off to. There she saw the girl meet up with the Pharoah's pet, Yugi. Bakura watched them walk off darkly, and saw Yugi look back at the Santa Bakura. Bakura looked away quickly, pretending to welcome the next child.  
  
"Hey there little guy!" He tried to look friendly while Yugi was watching.  
  
"I'm not little. I'm only here because my onii-san wants to find out what I want for Christmas without asking me directly. He thinks he's slick....he also wants a picture, but I don't think his camera is working right...." The boy was oddly familiar to Bakura.  
  
When he got a look down at the big brother with the camera, the realization of who the boy was hit him like a semi hit a fly.  
  
Seto Kaiba was standing at the foot of the steps slapping his camera against his palm futiley. Bakura grinned as he was the one who ruined all of the cameras in the vincinity.  
  
"Damn...cheap...cameras.....next time I buy one of these $600 pieces of crap, I'll make sure it has a very good waranty on it...." Seto snarled at the now useless camera, and then just looked up at his brother Mokuba.  
  
"Get on with it Mokuba.... I still have some shopping to do...."  
  
"Sure you do...." Mokuba muttered under his breath. He then looked up at Santa Bakura. "Here I go." He sat down easily in Bakura's lap, and Bakura and Ryou both had the urge to burst out laughing. Mokuba obviously hadn't even taken a good look at Ryou yet.....  
  
"Alright, here's what I want. I want a really big Super Soaker water gun so I can aim at those maids that do the laundry....I also want some more Cap Monster's pieces....I really like that game....Oh! And I really want Seto to buy my school so he can make up holidays to let school out himself!"  
  
"Not happening...." Seto's voice rang lightly up to Ryou, Mokuba, and Bakura.  
  
"Awww.....oh well, I also really want a pinball machine and a Dance Dance Revolution game, like in the arcades. I think I'm getting better at it!" Mokuba grinned.  
  
"Well young man, I sure will see what I can do....." and then Bakura added at a whisper, "about letting your brother know about it..."  
  
Mokuba snickered and Ryou handed him a cane. Mokuba got down and walked back to his brother.  
  
Suddenly, before they could turn and leave, a young girl's head poked out from behind Seto. She had a short black ponytail and huge blue eyes.  
  
"Kebby-kun! Don't I get a turn!?," she said in an Irish accent. She looked up at him with pleading eyes. (A/N: For all those reading "Another Chance at Everything" and bits of "The Cast Party," this one's for you!)  
  
Seto's eyes rolled. "Lisa, you're about a year older than Mokuba. Aren't you a bit old for that?"  
  
"But I wanna tell Santa what I want for Christmas!" She batted her eyes, and Seto then sighed.  
  
"Fine then...make it quick....."  
  
"YAY!!!!" The girl, Lisa, ran up and stood by Santa Bakura. "Hi hi Santa!"  
  
This girl had an infectious and horribly annoying happy attitude.....  
  
Lisa hopped up in his lap and giggled. "Santa, I've been a very good girl this year....so I want some things! I need a new Mystical Elf dollie, since Mokuba stepped on mine today....." She paused long enough to send a quick glare down at the boy. He sweatdropped.  
  
"I said I was sorry!! Yeesh!"  
  
"AND I also want a coat JUST like Kebby-kun's! All of his don't fit me! He's REALLY tall!" She grinned down at "Kebby-kun."  
  
Bakura just stared at this happy child. How did she know them? Oh well.  
  
"Oh and Santa.....give Rudolph a carrot for me...."  
  
Bakura decided to throw the girl a curve. "Well, carrots really give him a nasty case of gas....."  
  
\Bakura!\ His light's mental voice was chiding, but he could easily tell that he was holding back a laugh.  
  
Lisa's eyes lit up in confusion, then she giggled. "Okay...then throw in some Bean-o for me!" She giggled louder. Mokuba was snickering and Seto showed a small sign of mirth.  
  
"Well, that's all I really want this year, Mister Claus! Thank you for hearing me out!" Before he could protest, the eternally happy child threw her arms around his neck quickly, let go, and hopped down. Ryou snickered and handed her a candy cane, and she skipped back down to the Brothers Kaiba.  
  
Bakura sighed. This really was an interesting job, and really made him feel very violent at points......he looked over at Ryou, who was still a little red in the face from holding back his laughter.  
  
Oh well. He still got to hurt someone when this was all over. He looked idly down at the line. Then he saw the next person in line. Gods! Did everyone he knew have to show up today! Dear Set!  
  
The next person in line was Honda, with his little nephew. From all accounts from his friends, the child was slightly annoying. Honda led the little boy up and sat him down on Santa Bakura's lap.  
  
Bakura looked down at the child distastefully. "Hey. What do you want for Christmas, kid?"  
  
The boy looked up at him and then promptly kicked hard into Santa's lap. Right into the ol' toy factory.  
  
Bakura's eyes welled with tears of pain, and sparks could have flown out of his eyes if possible. Then he glared down at the child. People in line, especially the males winced when they saw this, and a few even snickered.  
  
He stared hard at the child, wondering how to do away with his life. Should he possibly feed him to his Maneater Bug? No...too quick. Something that small would not last long as his Bug's meal. Hm...maybe even stringing him up over a large pit of lava.....  
  
"Oh God! I'm SO sorry Santa!" Honda's voice broke through his pained reverie. "He usually NEVER does that!"  
  
"Yeah sure....that's what they all say...." Bakura was surprised lightly that his voice was a little high......  
  
Honda took his nephew off of Bakura's lap, taking the candy cane offered by Ryou, and walked away, still apoligizing to Bakura and chiding the small boy.  
  
Ryou looked over and once again had to supress a laugh. He thought his darker half would try and harm Honda's nephew, but things had turned out well.  
  
Bakura winced one more time, adjusting himself in his seat, getting ready for the next child. This really wasn't amusing anymore when the mortal buggers retaliated.....  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
Brood: If you haven't noticed, this was a chapter for special guest appearances!  
  
Zutsokaki: I liked Honda's kid nephew the best.  
  
Brood: I thought you might like that one....but I had fun writing this chapter as a whole!  
  
Zutsokaki: I also liked that part where Bakura put the images in the kids's mind.....  
  
Brood: ........you are a sadist.  
  
Zutsokaki: You can call yourself that also, for writing this in the first place.  
  
Brood: NO COMMENT! Oh, and everyone, lets all participate in Brood's fanfiction contest, shall we? I WILL accept pre-written submissions, AND I ONLY HAVE ONE CONFIRMED "MAKE THE WEIRD COUPLE" STORY!!!! Lets see some more of those, shall we? I have about six ones that will ATTEMPT to make me cry....ehehee.....See you all later! Ja ne! 


	4. Children Roasting On An Open FireYeah, B...

12/16/03 Brood: Hi all my fans! Exactly one year ago, I posted this story, and it was VERY well liked! I was proud of it, and decided that I wanted to give you all MORE! How's that sound? Great? Awesome!  
  
Zutsokaki: .......why God....why!?  
  
Brood: I'm changing the ending of this chapter and adding one or two more, just for all of you!!! I'm leaving my original author's notes from last year though, since I see no reason to just yank them out. These notes are from my LAST YEAR'S fanfiction contest, so PLEASE don't try to send any entries, yes? Now enjoy your special present from me!  
  
Zutsokaki: .........if you have mercy Lord...you'll kill me now.  
  
Brood: And now I give you...MORE SANTA BAKURA AND RYOU THE HAPPY ELF!!! Enjoy!  
  
12/27/02 Brood: Hello everyone! I'd like to thank my entrants in my competition so far, but I desperately need more for my Crazy couple catergory! I only have two for that one, while I have about six for the Make Me Cry one. I would recommend the Crazy Couple catergory mostly, since I seem to clam completely up while I read. Visuals on the other hand....  
  
Zutsokaki: I've seen her tear up at an overly fluffy Kodak commercial....  
  
Brood: .....thank you Zutsokaki for the commentary.....  
  
Zutsokaki: On the other hand....she pracatically turns to a rock when she reads. NOTHING fazes her. *imitates Brood* Oh lookie here! Joey runs over a puppy with his car, hits a tree, loses his memory, then dies before he can realize his true love! Okay let's read it. Oh lookie I've finished. That was good! Lets got look for more depressing stuff! Oh look! Yet ANOTHER Ryou suicide fic? Onward!"  
  
Brood: ...........once again. Thank you. Now, onto the nutty Santa Claus, erm...Bakura!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Bakura allowed himself a heaving sigh as the pain in his pants subsided. He then allowed himself a quick and evil glance at his light for snickering at his pain. Too bad there were witnesses around........  
  
Ryou then greeted the next child to come on up. It was a little boy. Bakura had bad luck with the boys so far. The first one barfs on him, and ....well.....Mokuba was okay, even if a bit heavy, but the next one.....well, it was safe to say Honda would be dangerously close to losing his life after this.  
  
The boy was helped up onto Bakura's lap, and he stared down at the child warily.  
  
"Hi Santa! How are you? I'll bet you're great? How about Mrs. Claus? Does she make good cookies? My mommy makes really good cookies! She puts chocolate in them, and they taste really yummy! I like chocolate, don't you? Do you eat candy? Maybe you eat alot of candy because you have a really big tummy! Am I right, Santa? Does Rudolph really get gas? I heard you tell that to another girl.....did that boy who kicked you hurt you badly? My daddy said that shouldn't happen to any guy, but it happened to him once when somebody accidentally swung a piece of wood at him while my daddy and his buddies were building a fence, and he fell over! You didn't fall over, did you Santa? But you were already sitting, so you probably wouldn't fall, right?....."  
  
\\Must....Mind Crush....child on lap.....\\  
  
\Bakura, let the kid talk!\  
  
\\If I let the kid go on, we'll be here all day!\\  
  
\Wait until he takes a breath. Then interrupt and ask him what he wants for Christmas.\  
  
\\I'll bet you that he has a list three miles long ready in that puny annoying mind of his. AND in small print.\\  
  
\..............\  
  
".....and then the kitty ran out the window and mommy said that my sissy shouldn't play with lighters anymore. Don't you think that's bad Santa? She also once tried to make doggy eat glue, but he didn't like it, but she said he liked glue since dogs ate things like glue but I thought it would just shut his mouth forever and ever, right Santa?"  
  
The boy tried to continue, but Bakura quickly clamped a mittened hand over the boy's mouth.  
  
"Hey little boy, lets just get to business here. What do you want for Christmas?"  
  
The boy's eyes lit up. "Oh wow Santa, I want a Tranformers toy! A really big one of Optimus Prime and all of his friends! Don't you think Optimus Prime is great, Santa? I think he is! I saw this one episode of Transformers where Optimus Prime changed...."  
  
Bakura quieted the boy again. "Is there more you want?"  
  
"Oh! I almost forgot! I want ALOT of toy cars! I really like toy cars, and make sure they are the ones with the remote controls so I can ramp them over things, Santa! Those are the best! Do you think the kitty will sit still long enough to be something for my cars to jump over Santa?"  
  
Ryou quickly walked over with a candy cane in his outstretched hand. The boy took it and clamped it down in his mouth.  
  
\\Thank Ra, you shut him up!\\  
  
\It was for my own sanity also....\  
  
"What else did you need?"  
  
The boy was quiet, completely immersed in the stick of sugar in his mouth. Ryou helped him down, and he walked happily away with his tired looking parents.  
  
Bakura heaved another well deserved sigh. Then he looked out into the crowds of shoppers walking by the Santa area. Suddenly he felt as if he'd been splashed with cold water. Yugi had walked by again with Rebecca. And he was staring straight at Ryou. And he knew who he was!  
  
Yugi suddenly stopped, judging from what Bakura could see, told Rebecca to stay back a bit. He then strode over and stopped beside Ryou, outside of the fence blocking the Santa area from the public.  
  
"Hey Ryou! I didn't know that you worked here!" Yugi looked at him and Ryou could do nothing but acknowledge his friend. He smiled down on him.  
  
"Just for today, Yugi."  
  
Yugi then dropped his voice to a whisper, but no enough so that Bakura couldn't hear it.  
  
"Hey Ryou, are you positive its safe to be taking a job like this with HIM inside of you? What about the children?"  
  
Ryou's eyes widened out of surprise and the intense hidden mirth. He almost shook in a snicker, but surprisingly held his steady gaze to Yugi.  
  
Bakura on the other hand had turned an impressive shade of red. Not out of embarassment, only out of the held back and strong feeling to hurt the spike haired boy.  
  
"You know Yugi, he hasn't given me much trouble at all. In fact, I would dare say that he's more involved with this than I'd like....."  
  
Bakura now had to fight the sudden urge to hurt his host body. But that had to wait. There was a little girl coming up to see him. Then he realized his greeting. Wouldn't Pharoah's Pet recognize his voice? Crap.  
  
The girl was plopped into Bakura's lap by Ryou, who had turned away from Yugi's confused gaze.  
  
"Hey Santa." The young girl sneered up at him. She was in an expensive looking and fluffy dress, and had very shiney black shoes.  
  
Bakura bristled up near immediately. How DARE that small brat act all prissy while sitting on HIM! Her attitude had better shape up quick.....  
  
When he spoke to the girl, his voice was deepened out of the need to hide himself from Yugi, and the seething anger building inside of him.  
  
"Hello young lady.....what would you like for Christmas?"  
  
"You don't sound okay, Santa. My mommy told me since I'd been her little angel all year long, I could ask you for whatever I wanted from you." She narrowed her eyes. "And I'd BETTER get it! My daddy's a lawyer! He could SUE you for not giving me my toys!"  
  
Bakura was centimeters away from killing this mortal child. She gets the privelege of sitting on HIS lap, and she cops an attitude....  
  
"Well....what is it you'd like.....?"  
  
"I want fifty Barbie dolls. And a Barbie Dream Car for all of them! I also want the Barbie Grocery store so I can make her butler do her shopping....and I want alot of Ken dolls so they can buy Barbies expensive jewelery....." and she went on and on.....  
  
Ryou felt his yami's anger and murderous intentions, and tried to put a stopper on him.  
  
\Bakura! I KNOW she's annoying! But TRY and calm yourself!!!\  
  
\\You try having this brat on your lap, mortal!!!\\  
  
"....and thats all I want for now. I'll come back later if I can think of something else." She stared up at Bakura. "I'd better see those presents under my tree on Christmas, or you'll be sorry!"  
  
Bakura's teeth began to grind. "I'll....see what I can....do....." His face was red and his eyes were practically glowing.  
  
"Hey! No TRY! I'd better see RESULTS Fatboy! Give me my toys! Or there will be HEL....."  
  
Ryou jumped in. "Thats all the time Santa has for you little lady, he sure will remember you're list!"  
  
She turned her head. " I want that candy cane NOW!"  
  
Ryou smiled an annoyed smile and offered the cane, which she promptly snatched from Ryou's clutches.  
  
Bakura, at the point, was trying not to raise his hand and Mind Crush the child.  
  
Ryou stared at his yami hard, and then picked up the wriggling girl and put her on the ground.  
  
"Remember what I said Santa. RESULTS!" She scampered off to her glowing mother, who merely quipped, "My angel knows how to get what she wants, doesn't she?"  
  
Bakura's fists were clenched and Ryou was trying to calm him mentally. It didn't seem to be working. And the next person didn't help either.  
  
Anzu walked up, followed by a small blonde child. Bakura's eyes widened, some of his anger fading quickly due to surprise. Ra! Did everyone he knew have to come here!?  
  
Yugi was still standing close to Ryou, and had seen Anzu.  
  
"Hey there Anzu! What are you doing here?"  
  
Anzu looked up. "Oh hey Yugi! I'm actually babysitting today, and Kara just HAD to come and see Santa Claus!"  
  
She smiled lightly and let the small girl by the hand up to Bakura. Ryou helped her up into Bakura's lap, and the girl looked up at him.  
  
"HI SANTA!!!!" She beamed up at Bakura.  
  
Bakura hoped this kid would be an easy walk in the park, since his last two were little hellions. "Hello child, what do you want for Christmas?"  
  
"Oh Santa, I only want world peace!" She grinned at him.  
  
He heard Anzu side whisper to Yugi, "She wants to be Miss Japan someday. Maybe even Miss World.....she LOVES beauty pageants."  
  
Great. He had a pageant brat on his lap. "Well little girl, what about toys?"  
  
"Wow Santa, maybe a Peace Corps. Barbie doll! What about new tap shoes for my routine? Oh! And maybe a nice set of books for advanced readers! The judges like smart girlies!"  
  
Bakura sighed heavily. "Sure little child, I'll see what I can do. I'll keep all that in mind."  
  
"Thank you Santa! I really appreciate it!" She hopped down by herself, and Ryou handed her a candy cane.  
  
Anzu took the girl's hand and began to walk off, but not before whispering to Yugi, "Don't you think that the Santa sounds familiar?"  
  
Bakura bristled and looked straight ahead. Yugi looked up at Bakura, but shrugged. Then he looked over at Ryou.  
  
"I gotta get going Ryou, I think Rebecca is getting ready to harass that little boy over there.....see ya later!"  
  
Yugi ran off, much to Bakura's relief. Ryou let out a sigh and looked back over at Bakura.  
  
In the time and children that followed, Bakura was harrassed by children five more times, kicked in numerous places two more times, and made three more children cry. He also wished to severely harm something two hundred seventy eight times. By the time it was clearing up a bit, he and Ryou were both very frazzled.  
  
"Well, it looks okay now to me....." Ryou sighed.  
  
Suddenly, the manager of the mall came up and whispered something in Ryou's ear. Ryou's eyes widened and he looked over at Bakura.  
  
(A/N: And here's where the change begins!)  
  
\The manager says that the Santa has woken up, but he can't remember where he is or WHO he is!!!\  
  
\\WHAT!?\\ Bakura almost flew into a rage, but another child was getting ready to come up the steps. So CLOSE to freedom, so CLOSE to getting away from being puked on and getting kicked in places that shouldn't be aimed at by small children, and without getting to pay them back or hurt them, either! There WOULD be retrebution!  
  
\But the manager says that after this next kid, we can take a break since we're just fill-ins. We'll have to come back in half of an hour though...\  
  
\\........I don't BELIEVE this!!! Let's just get this brat over with, ALRIGHT!?\\  
  
\.....Hai.\  
  
At that time, a small girl scampered up to Bakura. "SANTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then she proceded to propell herself at his legs, hugging and clamping around them tightly.  
  
"Gaah! Umm...little mort....I mean little girl...what do you think you're DOING!?"  
  
\BAKURA!!!\  
  
Bakura snorted at his lighter half's mental yell, but looked up. Parents were looking at him oddly, and Bakura sweatdropped. In any other situation, Bakura would have proceded to yell at them and threaten all sorts of bodily harm, but for some reason, they viewed the person that Bakura portrayed as kind and benevolent. He heaved a heavy sigh and tried again.  
  
"Little girl....umm...would you like up here?" he asked uncertainly, hoping the small child would detatch himself from his legs.  
  
"Santy, all I want for Christmas is YOU! Will you come live with me and my mommy and daddy! You can give me presents for my birthday and the elves can work in our garage and we have a big backyard that the reindeers can play in and........."  
  
\\Ryou. Elves? These deer again? What is this child SPOUTING about!!!!???\\  
  
\Umm....you gotta let her down easily. Tell her that all the other little boys and girls in the world would be sad if you didn't give them all presents too, and that you have to stay in the North Pole...\  
  
\\North Pole!? You're going to explain this to me when we get home..........\\  
  
\.......fair enough.\ Ryou only sweatdropped and turned to watch Bakura try not to mess this one up.  
  
Bakura turned his attentions back to the little girl who was still Perma- Glued to his legs. "Umm...young \\annoying\\ lady, I have to stay up in the North Pole so I can give all of the OTHER children of the world gifts....now don't you think that's fair?" \\She'd better or she'll be finding herself minus two arms...\\  
  
\BAKURA!!!\  
  
The little girl turned her head up to Santa Bakura and her large eyes began to water. "But but but....Santy...don't you love me!?"  
  
Ryou had to jump in before Bakura's mouth flew on it's own. \Bakura! Tell her YES! But you love the other children of the world just as much!\  
  
\\.........darn, and I already had the perfect response picked out.\\  
  
"Uhh, little girl, I DO love you," Bakura just barely managed behind gritted teeth, "but I love the other kids of the world just as much as I love you...." \\Ooh Ryou no baka....I'm going to get you for this.........\\  
  
Ryou gulped, but watched as the little girl began to wail loudly and peircingly. The high keening caused many in the line to see Santa cover their ears, and Bakura was on a thin line already. He had already begun reaching for the girl's throat to shut her up when...  
  
"Oh my goodness Santa! I'm SO SORRY about little Sara's crying! I'll take her right away!" Her mother came. When her mother touched her, the girl stopped her screaming and crying.  
  
Ryou heaved a sigh of relief and handed the girl a candy cane, and her mother led her away, telling her the whole way about how she should be more polite in front of Santa and his Elf.  
  
\\We....get to get out of these rediculous get-ups now, right?\\  
  
\Hai Bakura...look, the manager's assistant is closing the line now. Lets just get up and go....\  
  
Before any more could be said, Bakura was up and dragging Ryou away from the line and towards the break room, causing many a customer to simply stare.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
12/16/03  
  
Brood: And Brood saw it...and said it was good!  
  
Zutsokaki: And then Zutsokaki said it STINKS!  
  
Brood: Well you can just SHADDAP! Next chapter, Bakura's break time and Round 2!!!  
  
Zutsokaki: *rings bell*  
  
Brood: Once again, I'm keeping my old authors notes, so simply disregard the contest notification. That was LAST YEAR'S CONTEST do NOT send in entries!  
  
12/27/02  
  
Brood: And then it was over! Thats right everyone! The Bakura Who Saved Christmas is now over! Done! Finit!  
  
Zutsokaki: Thank Osiris.....  
  
Brood: You'll miss it....you know you will! Review this just for me! And I also wanted to put up a list of my entrants for my contest so far!  
  
Author Tefla  
  
Author Wingleader Sora Jade  
  
Author Myotismon13  
  
Author Ieyre  
  
Judge TKAY  
  
Judge Sunsia  
  
If your name isn't on here, please drop me a line!!! *PS I only need about one more judge! You can judge if you aren't writing, and I won't need you until about the deadline time!* 


	5. We Wish You Weren't Eating With Us

Brood: Ye-HAW! New stuffage for you all! Enjoyness!  
  
Zutsokaki: *passes out barfbags*  
  
Brood: *bwaps Zutsokaki over the head with a HUGE candycane*  
  
Zutsokaki: *falls over*  
  
Brood: *grins and presses "Post"*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Bakura and Ryou, now sitting in the break room of the mall, simply stared at each other. They were sitting opposite each other, Bakura seated stiffly on a couch and Ryou eyeing Bakura warily from an easy chair.  
  
"...........................now Ryou.........you DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura sprung from the couch, and Ryou immediately sprang up to run, but just as Bakura had gotten his hands close enough to snag Ryou's hair, the manager of the mall burst in.  
  
"GREAT JOB boys! I'm afraid our real Santa still has a touch of amnesia, so you're gonna have to keep going after about forty-five minutes." He looked over at the two boys, one with a wide-eyed stare in a running position, and the other with a handful of Ryou's hair, glaring at the manager with murder in his eyes.  
  
"Hahaha...." he chuckled. "Brotherly love....you know, I have a brother...we'd do stuff like that all the time......."  
  
"I'm hungry!" Bakura said suddenly, glaring harder at the manager and letting go of his handful of white hair.  
  
Ryou nodded, knowing Bakura was getting them out of a situation that would probably waste their whole breaks. "I think I'm up for some food."  
  
The manager consented. "Ahh, fine, whatever. You boys know where the foodcourt is! Just be back here in forty-five to suit up again!" He grinned, and watched as Bakura dragged Ryou out of the room.  
  
"Hehehe...cute kids."  
  
~*~  
  
"GGRRAAAAHH!!!" Bakura yelled over his slice of pizza, attracting attention from other shoppers in the area.  
  
"Shhhh Bakura! People are staring!" Ryou munched quietly on his pretzel, much used to his other half's yelling and outbursts, but knowing full well that the general public didn't take kindly to a half insane Egyptian spirt.  
  
Finally out of his costume, Bakura was breathing easier, but was still burning from the pent-up rage that he felt at doing what he did. "Why couldn't all mortal children be like that Merideth child was!? The children at Kuru Eruna didn't have any problems like these insane ones here do!"  
  
Ryou, shaking his head at Bakura's reference to his home theif village in Egypt, sighed. Kids today have problems? .........Well, Ryou could vouch for Bakura on that...I mean, how often does one fling herself at a total stranger's legs and begging him to move in with her?  
  
"Ryou no baka!" Bakura snarled from across the table, ripping into his pizza.  
  
"....Hai Bakura?" Ryou just wasn't going to pay attention to him at this point.  
  
"I want inside my Soul Room! I need REST if you're going to make me do that horrible thing with those children again!"  
  
Ryou sighed, not for the first time that day. "Will you consent to come out again?"  
  
Bakura looked peeved, but nodded slowly, not taking his glare off of Ryou's face. Just as they'd stood up to go make Bakura disappear in the bathroom, a voice called out.  
  
"Hey Ryou!!!!!" Yugi was running up to them, towing Rebecca and Anzu, along with her little Beauty Pageant Brat.  
  
Bakura was then forced to sit through nearly ten minutes of pointless conversations between Anzu and Yugi about Duel Monsters (he knew everything about it already! He'd lived it!), their pointless school crap, how stupid Anzu thought Seto Kaiba was, and their idiot friends Jou and Honda. Bakura swore then if he ever saw Honda he'd maim him for being related to that little terror who'd kicked him in the robber's tools.  
  
But what was the worst were Rebecca and that Pageant Brat, Kara. They tittered and giggiled about EVERYTHING, and he could have sworn that he'd heard a short "Who's Hotter" arguement, Rebecca insisting that Pharoah's Pet was hotter, while Kara was insisting that billionare brat Seto Kaiba was hotter. Bakura could have thrown up.  
  
In fact, he was about to reach for Pharoah's Pet's cup when he turned to speak to him.  
  
"Hey there Bakura...umm, decided to come out for awhile today?"  
  
Bakura sneered at him. "Oh, so kind of you to notice." It was true. Yugi had been trying to ignore him for awhile now, and was even suspicious of his quietness. Usually, Bakura would be throwing some sort of a fit, be it a silent twitching of the legs and uncomfortable expression, or his more common all out hissy fits. But today was different. He was just sitting and must...mulling, it seemed. And that was true as well. Bakura was mulling over how much his life sucked right now.  
  
It was then he realized that the two girls were staring at him. Now that the attention had been diverted in his direction, he noticed that they kept eying him most strangely. Then Rebecca leaned over to Kara's ear and whispered something. Bakura's eyebrow twitched. What was the child whispering to the little brat over there?  
  
Kara's eyes widened, and without taking her eyes off of Bakura, she whispered back. Rebecca then proceeded to giggle, and this caused Bakura's other eyebrow to twitch as well. He never DID like that feeling of twitchy eyebrows....  
  
"RYOU! What time is it!!??"  
  
Ryou, shocked, looked up at Bakura, and saw the red in his eyes. Eep. Ryou looked at his watch. "Umm...it's ten 'till four, Bakura....oh." Ryou looked at Yugi and Anzu, who were shocked and confused as well. "Umm...gomen, Anzu, Yugi. But Bakura and I have to be going now. We have to finish shopping so we can get home."  
  
Yugi brightened at this. "Hey! We can help you!" Anzu nodded her agreement, and the girls, now quite recovered from the outburst, nodded eagerly with an odd look on their face.  
  
Ryou seemed quite trapped now. How on earth was he supposed to tell him that he wouldn't let them come with them? But Bakura came in with little expected help.  
  
"Listen, I doubt it if Ryou no baka wanted you to know what you all were getting for this insane holiday before it's time. So let us be!" Bakura began striding away, and Ryou apoligized one more time to them as they left.  
  
"Ehhh, thanks Bakura. I didn't even think of that....I already have their presents too.."  
  
"Of course you didn't think of that. You don't lie." Bakura said with a hint of disgust in his voice. If he could lie, why couldn't Ryou? They DID share a body after all....  
  
"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh, you came back boys!!!" The manager stepped outside of the break room as they walked up. "Time to suit back up!!! Do you guys want to switch this time....no no...your little brother is too small for Santa! Same lineup as last time!" Bakura narrowed his eyes. HIM in the stupid elf outfit? Nooooooo, he'd rather stay in the costume where he could HIDE himself to an extent. This was Ryou's own humiliation.  
  
"Nooo, I think onii-san makes a MUCH better Santa than I ever could anyways..." Ryou said with a small grin. Scratch that. Ryou's humilation and one way ticket to an early grave.  
  
So the two boys donned their outfits yet again, and Bakura got stuffed (not without some...okay, LOTS of grumbling) with the body padding and attached the beard, with Ryou slipping on his pointy shoes with the little bells, the striped leggings, and a floppy red hat. He grabbed his candy bucket and stood next to Bakura, who was jamming on his hat.  
  
"Come on Ryou no baka. Let's get this over with......" Bakura growled. The manager gave them a once over, held up a thumbs up sign, and began to shoo them out of the break room to take their spots.  
  
"S-s-santa Claus...?" A man's weak voice came.  
  
"Ooh crud.." The manager murmured and turned around. Standing there was an older man standing in boxer shorts and an undershirt, looking at them all strangely. "Now Earl...get back into the back room...keep resting now!"  
  
"B-but it's Santa....." He said, taking a step at them.  
  
The manager turned to Bakura and Ryou with an apologetic look in his eyes. "This is the guy who was originally playing Santa. When he took that header into the door, he ended up with amnesia."  
  
"SANTA!!!!!!!" The old man yelled, launching himself with the force of an air rifle at Bakura.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Bakura yelled loudly, diving out of the way of the man. He sailed past Bakura and landed head first into the wood siding of the couch. He was unconscious once again.  
  
"Oh great. Now he's out of it again!" the manager said, smacking his forehead with his palm. "Help me get him into the back room, boys!" Ryou jumped to lend a hand, and Bakura begrudgingly picked up one of his arms.  
  
Soon enough, the old man was stuffed onto the couch back there again, and Bakura took up his place as Santa again.  
  
"I hate the world SO much right now...." he muttered as he watched a line begin to form again. Ryou smiled beside of him, trying to look happy to the kids.  
  
"Lookies! It's a Happy Elf, mama!!!" a little girl yelled from a few places back in the line, pointing at Ryou. The mother smiled and clutched the girl's hand.  
  
As the manager's geeky assistant went to reach for the rope closing off the short walk to Santa Bakura, the manager looked up at Bakura with a grin.  
  
"Guess what boys? While you guys were breaking, we managed to get another camera!"  
  
Yup. Bakura REALLY hated the world right now.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Brood: Woo hooo! It's Santa Bakura, back again, and now the camera's back in action! Ye-HAW!  
  
Zutsokaki: Wow, you just get meaner and meaner as you keep writing these things....  
  
Brood: Weeeeeelllll...it's FUN! Read and Review, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
e from Wingleader Sora Jade! It's in the "Random Cute Stuff" Section! Go check it out, it has Amoura, my OC from "Another Chance at Everything," (Borrowed by Wingleader Sora Jade for her latest installments of "Tales of the Child of Fate" series, along with "Tales" Bakura and Seto Kaiba! It's awesome! 


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